Kim's ADHD is different than PJ's. As is the case with many girls, she presents her ADHD in excessive talking, constant movement to burn off her energy and difficulty in focusing.
With PJ, his ADHD presents itself most often with impulsivity and inappropriate behavior. As these kinds of behaviors tend to be more common with boys who have ADHD, they find themselves in trouble more. This, in part, explains why more boys were diagnosed with ADHD in the past. The girls flew under the radar and often went undiagnosed.
PJ’s focus component is hard to determine at times. PJ could be thoroughly engrossed in detailed drawing while his mother would read a book to him – something complex, like “Harry Potter”. It would frustrate her to feel that she was reading to him and he wasn’t even listening. Yet when she would check if he was getting the details, he never missed a point, a relationship or the finest details.
Hmm – I recall doodling my way all through high school – maybe a little needed extra stimulus to allow us to sit quietly and focus? (Note to Teachers: Maybe doodling is not the worst thing for your ADHD student to be doing, if it helps them. Some of PJ's teachers have gotten that and lived to tell!)
There are other moments when PJ would look you straight in the eye: “Yes please! I would like a bagel for breakfast!” – only to be heartbroken when you actually placed it in front of him. He talked the talk, but never heard a word.
Everyone is different. Things like ADD/ADHD, Autism and Asperger's Syndrome all come in many shades of gray. We have to be careful to treat the various presentations of these conditions individually, instead of pigeon-holing a person based on their label. Kim's needs and PJ's needs are drastically different and although difficult, we must address them differently.
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