What do you do when your ADHD child does not fit into someone's checklist?
We just had a meeting with our school district's Special Education committee. We had requested an evaluation for our son for an IEP, or Individualized Education Plan, due to his ADHD and Asperger's. As described in earlier posts, his ADHD and Asperger's have been interfering with his focus in school and hurting his relationships with peers and teachers alike.
PJ was put through a series of psychological and intelligence tests. His standardized results came back as someone with superior to very superior abilities, often ranking in the 98 and 99 percentiles. His ability to respond to instructions was relatively low. Put in terms of PJ's experience, he has some tremendous potential, yet he has had substantially lagging grades.
Remembering homework and bringing home books has been challenging to say the least. One of the benefits we were hoping to get for PJ was some additional monitoring or oversight in regard to these assignments.
At the IEP meeting, there were many present, including the school's principal and psychologist, PJ's main teacher, PJ's psychiatrist, individuals responsible for the testing, a chairperson from the school district, Dawn and myself. All participants seemed concerned for PJ. His attendance in school was getting worse and worse. Indications of depression were beginning to show.
When all the discussions and empathetic looks were over, it came down to this: "His support systems are great!", "He seems to be doing well!", "We should continue to monitor him"(insert look of concern here). To really make the committee's difficulty clear, we have "I don't even have a checkbox we could use for him in my state forms". Lastly we are given "You can always request this meeting again" (insert hopeful smile here). Wow. How is it that I was not overly surprised?
As the appointed day for the meeting was approaching, I had come to the recognition that we were somewhat on our own. There is no government sponsored public education system that was going to hold our hand and steer us towards the best possible situation for PJ. They are tuned into education for those within the bell curve - the "normals". I don't mean to imply that they don't try or that they don't care. They clearly do care and are working with what they have internally and externally. But in PJ's case, it's not enough.
As in many walks of life, you are your own best advocate. Don't wait for your child's educators to pat you on the fanny and send you off with a "success guarantee" tucked neatly in your pocket. We have found that our greatest tools are thinking outside the box and taking direct responsibility for the results.
Don't be locked down to conventional thinking for your child. Instead of trying to force your "round peg" child into a "square hole" world, look for and enhance their strengths.
PJ loves drawing, computer generated art and Flash animation. By 10 years old he had taught himself to design animated cartoons using Flash. He was also posting those animations online and getting great feedback from adult artists. When PJ says he wants to be a graphic artist or game designer, we don't ignore him. We look for ways to encourage him in his endeavors. What better way to find success than doing what you truly love.
Find what puts your ADHD child in "the zone". Give them the opportunities to find their life's vocation even if it's not what you would consider a traditional path for them.
To paraphrase a favorite movie, "We don't need no stinkin' checkboxes!"
- Peace
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